whatsyour fence.com

One of my assignments was to help someone who is in advanced stages of the Alzheimer disease.

I was sent to the home to help while the spouse went out of the country, with a new long time live in love .

All three live in the home together.

The person I took care of is in need of twenty-four hour care, having everything done for them.

I know it isn’t my place to say if it’s right or wrong to bring another into your home to keep you company or your bed warm while your spouse is unable to function on their own.

What I wonder is, if the one who suffers, if they do, from the disease. The one staying home from the European vacation, do they know what or who lives in their home? Do you think there’s a chance they know what is going on?

At first I didn’t think so. I thought there was no chance this person knew what was going on around them.

On the day I returned for my second week there. I came back with my hair curly, you know, that afro look I can get when my hair has its own way.

While I was spoon-feeding lunch, I spoke to this person and coaxed them to eat the spoon full I was offering. This person most of the time remembers how to swallow, but I like to let it out when a spoonful is coming.

One look at me and there was a jerk back of the head with a surprised look in the eyes as they looked up at my hair. It was apparent that my voice was recognized but not the hair.

So, maybe more is known inside there then we realize, or the mass of it is just that shocking.

Debra

My first post about my experiences of helping those who are in need of in home twenty-four hour care.

It is different to go into another’s home and be of assistance to them to continue to live their lives in a manner that is working for them. To learn how to be in their presence but not be overpowering in their lives.

After some time, it is apparent how it will work for each of us in the space. But remember, it will be different for each place you go to.

I was assigned to be with a woman who needed care because she had trouble resisting falls.

This due to the mistake or infection she got from her hip surgery. Her second hip surgery. It was necessary to go in and redo some of the parts the infection had taken over.

She has MS and Parkinson’s disease also.

I have been so impressed with her ability to stay so positive with all she has going on. She never once had a woe is me attitude about anything.

Nothing stopped her from knowing things would get better, not even others who may have thought otherwise.

She was open to learn new things, and go out see new sights.

An inspiration to me.

And hopefully I was for her.

Today she is all but one day on her own. Driving again too.

A recovery, not the norm for this business, but great to see.

I still think the power to succeed comes from within.

Debra

I’ve been pondering just what to post lately. As you probably know, because you haven’t heard from me for a long time!

I’ve changed how I live, not moving around in a motor home anymore, but still living without an address.

Every week I drive to a location where I will stay over for a few days.

Doing live-in care for those who are in need.

I am sent to different clients around the city. Could be I’m changing every week or so, or I’m at one place for a longer spell. I’m not always sure.

I think I’ll start chatting about these experiences. No name will be used, if there is, it will be one that is changed.

For someone who really likes change, this is the perfect job.

Keep in mind that with going from home to home, there comes a adjusting period where you spend time learning just how best to take care of and communicate with the person you’re helping.

All this done with the sole purpose of allowing this individual to maintain their dignity and as much independence as can be allowed while keeping them safe.

So far, I get to do the simple things I love, read, play card games and lose at Scrabble, and she only had one eye.  I guess 95 years to gain a large vocabulary gives her the advantage over me.

Really, the whole experience fulfills my longing to help others. Even if it is one person at a time.

But I’m sure you’ve heard of the man who is found throwing back starfish. Someone asks him why he’s doing it, there are so many that what difference does it make?

It makes a difference to that one, he says as he throws it back in to the water.

Debra

When I started this blog, I had the intention to meet people who have chosen to live in different ways. Write about how they have started living differently due to the economy and their lives changing.

I was looking for those who live outside of the box, the box society has built for us.

I did meet many who live differently. It was the way I was living at the time.

So I guess I bored you, or entertained you with me doing it. Instead showing those who were doing it too.

It wasn’t really going to be the plan to just write about me living in so many different ways.

But it does seem to have taken a turn in that direction, doesn’t it?

So here’s some more of how to live differently. Or what fun it can be helping others while you live without an address.

I spent the last 4 days and 3 nights in a beautiful lake side cabin with one of our clients who needed help with day-to-day things while being at their lake home.

How great is that, working and going to the lake at the same time.

I do feel pretty lucky.

I was able to do the daily things, be of help when needed and still read, relax in the sun on the deck.

Or, paddle around the lake while I read a book. For almost two hours.

Come on !

Can it be better than that?

Debra

Name the place?

Well, you can see I write less often than when I was out on the road, getting a chance to see new things almost everyday.

I’m currently in a new situation that any of you could be a part of if your were inclined to do so.

I am doing home companion and care assistance.

This is another kind of fence, one where you live-in with another who needs your help with daily living.

Now this one is close to my heart, so don’t go and do it if you’re just trying to take advantage of another. People genuinely need help and they need people they can trust to do it for them.

I say this because there are many out there who take this kind of work to take advantage of vulnerable adults.

I’ve heard varying kinds of abuse, ranging from theft, physical and even sexually taking advantage of these people. I am truly repulsed by those who take advantage of others.

This kind of employment opportunity is a good way to be in different parts of the country and be able to take care of you while you do it. I mean you stay with the person over night. Which leaves you with the possibility of living without an address still.

It is a different way of life, but a rewarding one if you’re in the frame of mind to be of assistance, to serve another.

I am working for an agency which assigns me to different clients, it’s called:

Adult Help and Companion Care, AHCC.

A young man has taken on this business due to helping a relative over ten years ago. He was fed up with the bad help his relative received and came into change the whole situation. He has been involved in this work since.

Below is the website to this company. Check it out.

http://www.adulthelpcare.com/

I am happy to be able to help others, and make a living while I do it. There have been days much earlier in my life when I was helping all the time and going out to make a living also, this was really a busy time.

Doing this job allows me the time and comfort of helping and paying the bills.

I’ve been able to go for long walks in the beautiful sunshine. I get to run each day, and take a swim if I desire.

It works for me for now.

Maybe you’ll want to give it a try.

Well, I’m not this good, but?

Debra

What if a person just doesn’t want to work outside of the home, I mean they just want to be in charge of the house hold stuff, but their single?

Not because they’re lazy, well you might tag them with that if they say they don’t want to work somewhere besides what needs to be done at home.

A person can be a very hard-working person and still not go to work everyday.

Look at mom’s who stay home, they are very busy. Managing a household, and some kids.

This is considered an old-time thing, isn’t it?

Funny, when I was a part of a religion that strongly suggests that mothers stay home and take care of kids, it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Now that I no longer practice that said religion, I want to stay home and take care of what ever needs taking care of in the home itself.

You think I could put out an ad that says something like:

HOUSEWIFE FOR HIRE

Looking for someone to live in and manage your household.

I will care for your house with a warm and professional touch.

Will do cleaning, laundry and shopping.

Meals made upon request.

Minor repairs and improvements.

Respectful and will demand respect in return.

Salary required.

Time off for traveling.

Not interested in going to the office everyday, looking to be your stay at home help.

Call —————

References available upon request.

Do you think it could work?

Do you think something like this would allow me to go into retirement early?

Would be an interesting venture. Just to see the responses that come in would be fun.

Debra

Next to the little brown shack is an ugly yellow house.

I seem to have my eye on this ugly yellow house. Not because yellow is my favorite color, it just seems to draw me to it.

I guess I think it has possibility.

Possibility for what?

To be owned by me and decorated with fun colors, have it be a place to come to when ever I feel the pull.

I think there is some chance of getting it at a decent price and be able to travel and still afford to make payments on it  even while I’m away.

Sound fun?

I can’t seem to get it out of my mind. Usually I need to wait for a spell to let things settle. Especially things that seem to say ” settle”.

It doesn’t feel like something that will tie me down. But something that will let me flit where I want to. Mostly because the price may be just doable for one who wants something but doesn’t want to be tied to it physically and financially.

And, it is in such bad shape that it leaves nowhere to go but up, no matter what I do to it.

I have yet to see anyone there and ask about it. It could be that it is spring and the people who own it haven’t sprung for the summer time yet, being that it is about a block from a large lake.

Maybe it is in foreclosure, if so, I need to learn more about how that works to give me the advantage to get it at what it is worth and not what someone thinks they should get for it. Any advice?

It also has an older RV sitting in the driveway, that will need much work too. I wonder if it comes with the house?

If you have any advice about foreclosures just throw it out here for me, I will greatly appreciate the tips while I’m searching the ways to do this.

It doesn’t have to stay ugly.

Debra

Although I call it little, it is bigger than the RV I was not so long ago living in.

I am now in what I’m calling a little brown shack. It is fun, but different. I even hung my laundry out on a line. Some of you may do this often, it was a first for me.

http://ecoannarose.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/ways-to-save-energy-when-doing-laundry/

Lucky for me the weather is nice and this makes it more enjoyable than ever.

I have to say, it still goes with the post on Generosity, because I am still in awe as to the extent this can take shape. Remember the saying I posted once from Blanche in A Street Car Named Desire.

” I depend on the kindness of strangers “.

What if we all did, okay maybe this would not work so well, but if we could know that kindness was out there for all, maybe some would not be so sad and lonely on a daily basis.

I read a post by a woman about people who are lazy, does this make them dumb too? That was her question.

http://www.littlehouseinthevalley.com/are-lazy-people-dumb

I found the whole conversation kind of interesting. I for a time was checking myself out to see if I was a lazy person.

I’m going with no, I’m not.

But working as society told me I should all my years has not always set with me the way it does others.

I love to do a job that fulfills me each day, not one that just fills another’s pocket.

I don’t care if their pocket gets filled as long as they are fair to employees and I love what I do.

Work for yourself you say.

Always a possibility.

So, while I live where it works for now, I’ll get my next step all lined up and see where I am brave enough to take it.

How about you, what are you taking on that is fulfilling for you?

Debra

http://www.greyhound.com/home/

You can buy a pass and travel anywhere (they stop) in the US in the time allowed for the pass.

Truly, I wanted to walk across the country, what an adventure that would be. I think had my financial situation been better I may have tried that.

Even though I feel I can or would be able to ask for food or help, I don’t think it was the right road for me to take at this time. I was worried about the critters that I would run into, not meaning the human ones, there are to many snakes and alligators in Florida.

I walked to the Greyhound bus station, a beautiful morning for a walk. Stopped to say goodbye to the homeless couple. Stopped also to buy a bottle of water to carry around and fill up when needed.

Found a Publix grocery store to buy an apple for breakfast, then sat to enjoy the canal traffic along the Riverwalk for a spell. It was fun to watch all the different kinds of boats go by, from big elaborate to the little functional ones, even a water taxi here.

Found the car of my dreams parked about a block from the Greyhound Depot. A pretty little two seated Z4 BMW, and it was white. I loved it, time for me to want bigger than I know how to get.

The first leg of the trip on a bus was no big deal. Mostly I stayed to myself and lamented over things. So didn’t really notice going to Orlando and then to Atlanta.

The trip from Atlanta was one of much conversation with a guy going home to Denver CO after a month visiting with his sister. We talked on and on about everything.

At the dinner stop at a Mac D’s where I wolfed down a salad and got on-line.

I missed the bus.

Yep, the bus went off without me. We were given a 30 minute break and I’m sure I was making it all in good time. I don’t wear a watch, just going by judgement.

My meal and the visit to the gas station next door to get some crackers to finish off the tuna I had for the next day. It all seemed to be in good time.

It wasn’t there, the bus. I could only think of the people I sat with and why didn’t they stop it from leaving without me. My coat and book were still there in the seat I was in.

Really, they all probably saw me talking on my phone crossing the parking lot to another destination and said to themselves, doesn’t look like she intends to get the bus, then drove off.

I was lucky to find another bus parked close by. The driver was in having his dinner and I went directly to him and told what happened. He was great, after checking for my ticket ( good thing I took my backpack with me ) he let me ride his bus to another stop where I would catch an all together different bus to the stop I was headed for.

The catch was I was going back the same way I came. But did I have any real time schedule?

This put me 12 hours behind what the original schedule was. Behind because I had to go back 3 hours, then forward again 4 hours that I already covered. Beats sitting at a Mac D’s over night waiting for the next bus going this way.

While waiting in Arkansas at the station for the next bus, I had a woman approach me and ask if I was the one who missed my bus. I told her I was and she told me how others on the bus had helped her out and could I help her too.

In the midst of what I was experiencing, this took me by surprise.

I had two dollars left, and told her so, meaning I didn’t have enough to give her any. Then suddenly I thought what difference did two dollars make. I said she could have half and gave her a dollar.

Turns out it was my last dollar, when I checked I didn’t have anything but change on the bottom of my little purse. It made me laugh, why not, it was best to do, keeping a good attitude about it all.

I felt lucky to come across a nice bus  driver, his name was Charles and we talked the whole three hours there. I really learned a lot about him and his life.

I found the bus drivers to be pretty good people. They had rules and they made sure they were kept. Like leave after the 30 minutes is over. They would even kick people off their bus if the person didn’t think they needed to follow the rules.

All in all , riding the bus wasn’t so bad a thing.

One trip I learned how to use the I-phone, another toy I’ll put on my want list. I was telling this kid, well he was young, all about Fort Lauderdale, how much fun it was, what to go and see while you’re there. He was looking it all up on his I-phone and let me play with it too. We looked up everything and got a close up view of the canals.

He drives truck and uses the Greyhound to get from his home and other destinations to pick up trucks. He felt the I-phone was his ticket to getting where he needed to be.

Then another ride, I learned how to play Texas Holdem, we played a few hands. One guy thought I was probably hustling them, that I knew how to play and any minute now I was going ask to start playing for money.

Well, you may not think so but here is another fence. You could actually live for a time by riding the Greyhound bus around the country. They ride at all hours. You will have the opportunity to meet so many different people.

Many are sleeping in the terminals while they wait for their next ride and if you stay in them, they seemed pretty safe.

So, ride off into the night.

Enjoy

Debra

Discovery Pass Prices, click link below.

https://www.discoverypass.com/discoverypass.usa/step1.aspx

Do I stay in the RV and go to a transfer spot? Meaning ride along until I find a good place or come up with a plan for what’s next.

My mind was reeling. I didn’t know which way to go. I felt like something had to be decided and in a very quick way. Like right now!

What I did know for sure was, even if I thought you were the one for me, if you didn’t think I was the one for you, it doesn’t work for me either. You don’t have to tell me twice.

I was moving on. Just how, was the question now.

I so wanted to walk across the country, what a great adventure this could be.

There was too much to consider as far as the risk involved in my own safety. I do love a good adventure, but I’m smart enough to know when I’m putting myself in some dangerous situations.

With my decisions finally made, I readied myself for the departure the next morning.

I knew I had to clean my stuff up and find a way to travel, light. I gave some thought as to how or what to carry my belongings in.

Began pulling everything that was me, out of the motor home.

Ended with 3 apple size boxes (to be sent to a given address, thank you for that) of stuff I thought I should keep and a backpack going with me that had in it:

One pair of jeans

2 shorts (I was planning on it being warm)

3 underwear

2 bras

5 shirts

sandles, slip on shoes and a pair of running shoes hanging off the strap.

Had the bathroom essentials, and put identification in my small purse. I had $225.00 left in my bank account. $178.00 went to traveling, $20.00 in my pocket, leaving me with about $20.00 left in my bank account. (Please don’t think of this as a negative thing, it is just there to be true to the facts as I know them)

I felt ready to go anywhere.

I brought all my other things not going with me to the dumpster, some went in and some went along side. Each trip I made to the garbage stop, the things I left there before were gone. I knew someone would take them. I hope they use them well.

Um, I’ll miss the bike.

There was preparation for a departure happening the day after I was leaving. The time at the RV park in Fort Lauderdale was over and the Areo Cruiser would be moving on without me.

I hoisted the backpack on to my shoulder, picked up my blue outside fold up chair and dropped it at the dumpster on my way out of the park.

Truth be told, I was offered this laptop and some money. Didn’t want any of it, it was not what I was in the relationship for.

I went online to check my bank and talked with my son in England before leaving it behind.

This had me realize how much I could accomplish with the laptop, decided to take the offer and take it with me. Glad I did, let’s me keep in touch and look for future possibilities.

I did walk away about 7:30 am with no one to say goodbye to.

It was a beautiful morning, but I was sad.

Debra